《假如特朗普是乌克兰总统》 2022年2月24日，凌晨5点，俄军全面入侵乌克兰。 第一天： 特朗普召开紧急记者会： “普京是我的老朋友，非常聪明，非常聪明的… · @v198964 · TwKit

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《假如特朗普是乌克兰总统》 2022年2月24日，凌晨5点，俄军全面入侵乌克兰。 第一天： 特朗普召开紧急记者会： “普京是我的老朋友，非常聪明，非常聪明的人。但他犯了一个巨大错误。乌克兰拥有世界上最伟大的总统，这就是我。相信我！” 第二天：俄军逼近基辅。 特朗普给普京打电话： “弗拉基米尔，我们做个交易。克里米亚？我们可以谈。顿巴斯？也可以谈。但是你必须承认，我是乌克兰历史上最伟大的总统。” 第三天： 记者：“总统先生，您会像泽连斯基一样留在基辅吗？” 特朗普：“我拥有世界上最好的撤离计划。非常完美。没人比我更懂战略性转移。” 记者：“所以您要离开？” 特朗普：“假新闻！我从没说过离开。我只是要从另一个地方领导乌克兰。” 第四天： 特朗普宣布俄罗斯已同意谈判。 普京宣布俄罗斯的军事行动继续。 特朗普发推： “我和普京进行了非常棒的通话。非常有建设性。和平即将到来！” 第五天： 俄罗斯要求乌克兰割让领土。 特朗普：“这片土地本来就存在争议。我们必须现实一点。但我谈成的协议绝对是历史上最好的协议。” 第六天： 乌克兰士兵质问：“总统先生，我们流血牺牲，就是为了把土地送给俄罗斯吗？” 特朗普： “你们应该感谢我。我阻止了第三次世界大战。没有人比我为乌克兰做得更多。” 第七天： 特朗普宣布： “我们赢了！这是乌克兰历史上最伟大的胜利！” 记者：“可是俄罗斯仍然占领着我们的领土。” 特朗普：“那是拜登造成的。” 记者：“先生，您是乌克兰总统，拜登是美国总统。” 特朗普：“正是如此！” If Trump Were the President of Ukraine February 24, 2022, 5 a.m. — Russian forces launch a full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Day 1 Trump holds an emergency press conference: “Putin is my old friend. Very smart guy. Very, very smart. But he made a huge mistake. Ukraine has the greatest president in the world — and that’s me. Believe me!” Day 2 Russian troops advance on Kyiv. Trump calls Putin: “Vladimir, let’s make a deal. Crimea? We can talk. Donbas? We can talk about that too. But you have to admit — I’m the greatest president in the history of Ukraine.” Day 3 Reporter: “Mr. President, will you stay in Kyiv like Zelenskyy?” Trump: “I have the best evacuation plan. The absolute best. Nobody understands strategic relocation better than me.” Reporter: “So you’re leaving?” Trump: “Fake news! I never said I was leaving. I’m just going to lead Ukraine from a different location.” Day 4 Trump announces that Russia has agreed to negotiate. Putin announces that the military operation will continue. Trump tweets: “Had a fantastic call with Putin. Very constructive. Peace is coming very soon!” Day 5 Russia demands territorial concessions. Trump: “This land has always been disputed. We have to be realistic. But the deal I negotiated is the best deal in the history of deals.” Day 6 Ukrainian soldiers confront him: “Mr. President, we bled and died for this land — just to give it to Russia?” Trump: “You should be thanking me. I stopped World War III. Nobody has done more for Ukraine than me.” Day 7 Trump declares: “We won! This is the greatest victory in the history of Ukraine!” Reporter: “But Russia still occupies our territory.” Trump: “That’s Biden’s fault.” Reporter: “Sir, you’re the President of Ukraine. Biden is the President of the United States.” #Trump: “Exactly!”

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