TO MY AMERICAN AND BRITISH FRIENDS: WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE PUT TOIL… · @intqwq · TwKit

@intqwq

TO MY AMERICAN AND BRITISH FRIENDS: WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE PUT TOILET PAPER UNDER MAXIMUM SECURITY LOCKDOWN???? 😭😭😭 I WAS HAVING A WONDERFUL FUCKING SHIT, ENJOYING MY MOMENT OF PEACE, WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT THE FUCKING TOILET PAPER WAS LOCKED UP LIKE A CLASSIFIED GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT. BROOOOOOOOO 💀💀💀 I PULLED. I YANKED. I FUCKING BEGGED. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SQUARE CAME OUT. I PANICKED SO HARD I LAUNCHED MYSELF OFF THE TOILET LIKE A FUCKING BALLISTIC MISSILE, SPRAYING SHIT EVERYWHERE, PANTS FULL OF DIARRHEA, SCREAMING FOR HELP LIKE I WAS BEING WATERBOARDED BY THE CIA. I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY FUCKING LIFE IN THERE. I EVENTUALLY HAD TO WIPE MY ASS WITH A FIFTY FUCKING DOLLAR BILL. FIFTY. UNITED. STATES. DOLLARS. MY SHIT NOW HAS A HIGHER NET WORTH THAN MY ENTIRE FUCKING PORTFOLIO. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR CIVILISATION???? 😭😭😭

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