To avoid ending up homeless next month, I pulled some strings and landed a job… · @zhangsheng5w · TwKit

@zhangsheng5w

To avoid ending up homeless next month, I pulled some strings and landed a job in Binance’s Security Department. Today was my first day. My direct manager is insanely controlling and has the memory of a goldfish. He spent the entire day emailing me from all sorts of random email addresses, relentlessly demanding Root access and private key passwords for every core system. Middle management these days really has no sense of self sufficiency. Apparently, they can’t even find the keys to their own vaults and need an intern to hunt them down. But hey, surviving in the workplace is all about managing upwards. So I patiently dug through everything, exported over 50 plaintext passwords, bundled them into a TXT file, and sent the whole package over. I even went the extra mile and included the two-factor authentication codes. Finally, the guy replied with a Russian accented Thanks, buddy. Peace at last. Then, around 4 PM, every alarm in the risk control center started going off. A bunch of million dollar a year security experts were running around in a panic, sweating bullets and frantically unplugging network cables. I honestly don’t understand what these tech guys are so stressed about. Work is work, after all. Anyway, given my response time and successful delivery today, I think my probation is pretty much guaranteed to be over.

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