这些殖猴在美国看病可不是这样的，我来给你们模仿一下🤷‍♂️ 美国诊所，Kevin Wu胃痛。 护士：Fill out these forms. Twelve… · @zhousheng6688 · TwKit

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这些殖猴在美国看病可不是这样的，我来给你们模仿一下🤷‍♂️ 美国诊所，Kevin Wu胃痛。 护士：Fill out these forms. Twelve pages.
Kevin：我上个月刚填过啊……
护士：Insurance changed. Fill them again. And sign the privacy notice. And the arbitration agreement. And the “we can bill you later” form. 护士：Copay is eighty dollars.
Kevin：我保险不是全覆盖的吗？
护士：You haven’t met your deductible. No copay, no appointment. Also there’s a twenty-dollar facility fee.
Kevin：……这是什么费？
护士：For using the room. （等两小时，医生进来，全程盯着屏幕） 医生：How’s your stress level? Sleep? Diet? Exercise? Family history of everything?
Kevin：我只是胃痛……
医生：Stress is very common in your demographic. Here’s some antacid. Follow up in two weeks.
Kevin：能不能查一下是不是胃炎？
医生：That’ll be another three-fifty. Plus a separate procedure fee. Want it?
Kevin：……算了。 （出门） 前台：Your lab from last year was out of network. You owe five-twenty.
Kevin：你们上次说是网络内的！
前台：That was last year’s network. This year it’s not. Also you parked in the wrong lot, so there’s a forty-dollar parking fine coming.
Kevin（捂着胃）：花了八十加二十，等了两小时，看了三秒，拿了张胃药，倒欠五百二，还要再回来一次。
前台（微笑）：Don’t forget to rate us five stars. And your next appointment will need a referral.

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